Innocence

No means no.
...Unless it means I dont know...
In which case, you can try.
But be subtle,
And dont get me in trouble.
Because loud mouths beg the attention
They crave for acceptance.
And I dont need
To be your exclimation.
You already have my attention
And my dreams.

Future Sweetheart, Former Lover

Last night it was "hun," and now you call me sweetheart...
But I not sure I'm comfortable with all that that entails.
Way back when we met, you didn't even see me
And then a few years later I was just your contact name--
A way to met the needs you had, then away you went so fast,
Never looking back at me, not one call returned.
So now I hear you say these words, the ones that jump my heart
And fearfully I call you friend, hesitant for the day
You turn and leave me standing here all hope shattered on the ground
Because no one sticks around these days
And promises hold no water.

But how do I look into your eyes, and kick you while you're down?
Now while you look to me for strength in all you do...
The friendship I can offer you, is so far from what you grasp
And tears would stream if I came clean to everyone I know.
My heart longs to love you; and hands long to hold yours.
But somewhere deep down I know it's not right
To offer more right now...because you aren't ready to give me all of you
There's nothing there to offer yet so I cant ask that much.
With all the things that you've been through
I wont be that girl. The one who tries to change you now
The one you'll learn to live without. The girl you'll soon regret.
(The one you'll learn to regret. The girl you'll soon forget)

Failing to Forget

Here I sit in the dead of night, undecided of what to do.
I need a change, somewhere to run, but I dont want to hide.
Unhappy with the situation I find myself in,
I search for an answer or guide.

I think I'll go away for a year, and live the life I fear.
I find a place so far from here, where I can finally be me
Away from the schools and organized crimes
I find surrounding all I see.


I'll run so far I'll forget where I am and where I was
Trying to reinvent who I've become thus far and how
But even that takes thoughts of the past
....and so my mind turns to you.

What would I do without you?

That's what I jokingly asked a friend who helped me out. His reply was more serious than even I realized at the time. "I think the question should be reversed: what would I do without you?" And while at the time I laughed it off thinking about the minute things I've done to help...but now I realize how codependent we've become... and I begin to wonder, what would you do without me? And I don't want to make you find out. So I'll do everything I can to be there for you--but I'm afraid I'm becoming too attached. ...And I worry about the ramifications of that attachment.

The Future of You

As I sit here
waiting, unaware
of what will come
i think of you.
not the you
that you are now,
but who you
can become
it's odd that
though we yet
have not met
I feel that I
Know you so well
the you that you
can someday be.

The Ghost of Me and You

When You're Gone Video

This blog has turned into songs I like. I don't know why, but I'm just going to roll with the flow.


Here is the link to Avril Lavinge's Original Video (which I am actually very impressed with), but since I can't embed that one, here's a live performance version: