Failing to Forget

Here I sit in the dead of night, undecided of what to do.
I need a change, somewhere to run, but I dont want to hide.
Unhappy with the situation I find myself in,
I search for an answer or guide.

I think I'll go away for a year, and live the life I fear.
I find a place so far from here, where I can finally be me
Away from the schools and organized crimes
I find surrounding all I see.


I'll run so far I'll forget where I am and where I was
Trying to reinvent who I've become thus far and how
But even that takes thoughts of the past
....and so my mind turns to you.

What would I do without you?

That's what I jokingly asked a friend who helped me out. His reply was more serious than even I realized at the time. "I think the question should be reversed: what would I do without you?" And while at the time I laughed it off thinking about the minute things I've done to help...but now I realize how codependent we've become... and I begin to wonder, what would you do without me? And I don't want to make you find out. So I'll do everything I can to be there for you--but I'm afraid I'm becoming too attached. ...And I worry about the ramifications of that attachment.

The Future of You

As I sit here
waiting, unaware
of what will come
i think of you.
not the you
that you are now,
but who you
can become
it's odd that
though we yet
have not met
I feel that I
Know you so well
the you that you
can someday be.

The Ghost of Me and You

When You're Gone Video

This blog has turned into songs I like. I don't know why, but I'm just going to roll with the flow.


Here is the link to Avril Lavinge's Original Video (which I am actually very impressed with), but since I can't embed that one, here's a live performance version:

I will be here

Just (you and me)

Knowing you're not here for me
There's a decision I must make
Standing with your hand in mine
A bond I hesitate to break
It's safety and comfort I crave.
The insecurity and fear
Pause me in my journey
Hindering the choice
I dont want to make
The single step I fear to take
The one that will bring tears
As I leave your side for good.