Dreaming

They happen for me so rarely that I almost don't believe it was a dream. Or maybe it's just my desire for it to turn into reality that makes me question whether or not I was asleep last night as you wooed me in my head. Everything was so comfortable in that world, but even as it was happening, I knew it wasn't something you'd do. Much like the real last night, we went together to Wal-mart. The difference between the factual and the dream was in our physical contact. While I longed to touch you and reach out gently grazing you in both scenarios, your reaction was completely different. the one I liked better consisted of a hug, as my arms stretched around your belly, that lingered on as we walked, your right arm around my shoulders, left hand readjusting my clasped hands, then holding them in place. It felt so right; so warm; so safe. Why did we have to part? Why'd I have to wake up? And while you'll never know it, the image still resides in my head, and the feeling in my heart.

I'm still not sure if it's you or that image I've fallen in love with. But fallen, I am. And now I sit here left to wonder if the two will ever converge: the you who stands just out of reach, and the you I know will never let go. But safe and warm I long to be. Though the fear of failure and rejection is so real, and the dream only comes in the dark of night, I'm fully aware that I must step out of the artificial comfort I feel now to find something real and lasting. ...But how will you react?